The elephant in the room

I am talking about the dreaded word the big C , cancer. Recently I have lost some of my relatives to this illness, though one was along time patient, when he was about to be completely all right relapsed and became fatal.

The other two are diagnosed at a critical stage within a month gap of less than a year had to succumb to this dreaded illness. 

So much of physical and mental strain the patients have to undergo and put up a cheery look so that people around do not lose hope.

  One case was so sure of living for atleast two years and considering his age 80+ could withstand the chemo, and was cheerful, but the end took him without his knowledge, giving him least pain and fear of death.

The other could not live to see his 60 yrs just a few days closer to his end! It's pathetic for the near ones especially for the effort and hope with which they build up their faith and confidence. 

Why is that we come to know only at a later stage, or is it that doctors who attend do not want to disclose the word so give false hope and diagnosis!In the first case I mentioned the doctors attending  could have  [in Mumbai ]asked for a detailed investigation , but did not in spite of the reports produced. 

One after seeing thsi type of treatment loses faith in doctors, I agree that they can't do much but could have tried their best to be true?

No one would like to leave the person diagnosed with 'C' in distress, the family and friends give enough support in whatever possible way one could, the least they expect from the doctors is negligence or over looking.

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Inspite of knowing the truth we do not want to talk about it as the end is obvious. We would like to touch upon everything except the disease, why?

A thousand death occurs in a day of cancer, but we pretend as if nothing has happened or not worth mentioning about.  Nor do we have the courage to face the bitter real truth. 

One needs tremendous mental and physical strength to face it and come over it by overcoming the harsh realities of it like Lisa Ray, actresses Gautami and Lance Armstrong .

 if diagnosed earlier it has a cure and treatment, and we should hold no qualms to talk about it in public and instead of showing sympathy, we should help the person to muster enough courage to stand tall. 

Silence of Sacrifice?

 Venu's mother was keen that he gets married at the earliest but he was going on shelving it for reasons known to him. Finally his mother gave him an ultimatum and he had no other option but to say yes to her. The problem did not get solved here, because one of the condition which Venu put to his parents are that he would either marry a widow or a divorcee that too with a child remember not more than one ,it can be a boy or a girl!

 Now comes the head ache to them Without asking any reason they go ahead with the process of looking for girls . It was a great task for them to convince the parents, neighbours and friends about his decisio. People kept wondering and were all praise for his daring deed to seek a partner  of this type!

After all the bio data with photos came to his hands , he carefully went thro and picked up a girl , Preksha who is quite independent, working , has a brother, and parents well settled. Also as he wanted and expected has a two year old girl, she is a widow, her husband died in a road accident.

 Initially hos parents did not like his idea but fearing the repercussions of not agreeing to his wishes would mean he would leave them and go away.

Finally  they yielded  to his request, because he was born after fifteen years of their marriage and their only child.

 He arranged for a meeting with Preksha and told her  that he would be a good father to the child , Snigda. After three months of knowing her and meeting the child often  he went ahead with the simple marriage. 

 The marriage ceremony got over , everything went off smoothly, both the parties were happy and satisfied. 

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 He called his parents one day ,after a week, for a detailed discussion  took time to talk to them  explain to them  and convinced them , a lot of heated arguments happened with each one blowing their top and giving their peace of mind etc.

All said and done they could not digest that his sudden turn would make them depressed for ever. How is that they could not share their son's worries, where have they failed and why is that their doting son has not confided in them his fears and feelings? They kept asking these questions to themselves and still they can't come to terms with what he said.

His words ,' 'I can't become a father anytime in this life because my injury to the  spinal cord, and  bladder had led to impotence by harming nerves.'' 'I can't blame anyone for the bike accident I met with five years ago, I have seen so many surgeons and there is no hope.'' 'So the best solution is to marry a girl with a child and give life.'  ' Both of you promise me that you will never ever reveal this to anyone. '' 'I will convince Preksha that I do not want another child and I will do Family planning operation may be in a month's time.''

Impatience

Impatience is one of the qualities in born with some , definitely  a person like me though I am premature born. 

It's a quality if these person's ordered were attended immediately at a younger child-hood days, other wise why should they be impatient?

Impatience in respect to delay is OK but not always. If anyone has to fetch you something, you should give some time for them to do so keeping their place and whether they are into some workor something.

Losing one's cool in hotel after ordering is normal , but there also you have to give them some time to bring as per the orders. Standing in a queue, queue not moving, , shop keeper taking time to bill, passengers taking time to move with their luggage while alighting or boarding the train etc are common and all do not work or act at the same pace, it depends on each individual and their type of work.

Some times I would wonder whether these type of people were born during emergency? All in order, control with a strict regiment!

Any how  I have come out with a beautiful story for them. 

After death all those are dead come to a common place and God says that whoever wants to go to Heaven or Hell will have to follow the queue to the respective places. On the right is Heaven and on the left is Hell.

My impatient person sees the  long queue to the heaven side, and typical of his nature, gets irritated and impatient and checks the Hell side queue and to his surprise there was no one , so opts for that and goes left so that he doesn't have to wait in the long queue!

Verbal Diarrhea

Verbal diarrhea is the name given to  a person who keeps on talking without giving a chance to others in the conversation. I have seen some people who are fond of listening to their own 'sweet, melodious voice'.

If you have not come across one so far then you are unlucky, I would say!

For you have missed a chance of listening to a boring speech, the interesting way of them cutting your interference in between interrupting their lecture. At times you would keep wondering what is that they were blabbering for  long time.

I came to a conclusion that these type of people are poor listeners, and  feel they would do a good home work of by-hearting all that they need to speak and come and vomit as verbal diarrhea!

I know a family where all the members are equally the same type in fact you can either have 'passing the parcel' or 'Antakshari' with their own members, or worst comes a 'relay' , the funny part is how they try to cut the others while under conversation!

What is that is bugging them to talk non stop? Arre, cum -se -cum allow the other person to open the mouth , m mm hum  never. In the mean time If you have anything to add or contradict, it goes in the air and by the time they stop, it's deleted from your memory no chance  for ctrl z.

Next is, if you come to know that so and so is likely to visit ,be prepared to welcome them, w- hole  heartedly because you have no other option, it's better follow the policy  'if you can't beat them ,join them '

Once I had the blessings of God who made me escape because unfortunately this person had tooth ache! I can't express the amount of happiness I had , lo it was short lived!

In the two days stay, this person became alright so the second day I had so much to listen to with some discount and bonus added to the quota of the previous day!

Soon after the person left, aha I felt there was lull after the storm / tsunami ?

For two days I did not open my mouth with others or else I would be repeating what so and so said to me.

 A person talks to oneself [ talking loudly] as in Hamlet's 'to be or not to be' is called a SOLILOQUY , but if a person talks in front of others , not giving a chance to others can it be called OTHERLOQUY?

There is an art of conversation, where you give a chance to others to listen as well express, it can't be one person. The problem with these people is that they must feeling out of the box if they can't interrupt making others come to a conclusion that so and so is not knowledgeable, or that it could be if they allow others to take the baton, they might forget what they wanted to say. I may be wrong, but whatever I have mentioned is based on my experience.

Ordinary diarrhea has a cure but verbal diarrhea ...................?.....................!

NO CHANCE

Clouds Fascination

   

I love nature at her best, esp rain, clouds ,empty sky and starry sky.

As children we had enough time and exposure to watch which even now I carry on with this. Clouds just fascinate me a lot. I can spend hours watching the clouds move around

One of my wish was to watch the clouds from the plane, fortunately once from Ahmadabad to Bangalore morning flight , I could enjoy being with them for almost two hours and OH, God, it was just flying above, over and in between them.

All around me was clouds, which I have seen in movies in the song and dance sequences, or in Purana religious movies when they want to show Heaven.

They look so chusiony with all shades of grey, white and cottony! An amazing sight! 

Literally I was on cloud umpteen!

When the plane goes thro the thick clouds the plane shakes quite a bit. An enjoyable journey.  If only I could break from the plane and touch them and come back, I could not take photos of them as by mistake they were kept in the bag!

I am happy that I settled in Bangalore, I get a lot of opportunity to watch clouds due to its above sea level . It's a all season place especially from April to August one can see the passing clouds so close. It is a wonderful sight to watch these clouds at night , the calm atmosphere and the dark background is a superb sight to admire.

One of those time I took some snaps  and video of passing clouds in June 2001, from the balcony which you can see are posted here.

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Many times we have traveled by train and its good to see the clouds in the horizon, they come along with us and I used to give shapes to them . In the beginning it may be an elephant's head slowly changing to a camels hump and so on. I have seen the bearded man, a lady with the pallu wrapped on her head, a rabbit's ears, a group of birds flying together. A few days back when I was talking to my sis Viji, about this post, she said she has also visualised the same while traveling by train. 

2 +2 = 4 .

Chandra Sekhar and his wife came to consult Dr.Ragav , their family physician after a long time.

'Hello Ragav   how are you?'

'What a question to ask a doctor, anyhow fine, thank you and My humble apologies for not attending your 50 years of marriage anniversary sekhar.'

I understand but it was a great disappointment to both of us, what is a function without a long lasting friend?, But we know you were held up in the VIP murder case, so apology accepted. We are not going to leave you with this apology, you have to come to our house with Radhika and grand kids.'

Sure, sure, probably next week.

What was the gift Hemant and Shashank showered you both with?'

We told them not to but were not ready to listen to, so arranged for the function in a hotel. Morning only for family, they had a slide show of all the old photographs with some commentary by Anila and Lathika.Each one came and spoke  about both of us and the grand kids presented some cultural programme. Later they gave the gifts to us and we had to gift each other, she got a two studded diamond nose ring, and an i Phone for me.

OK now tell me what is the problem and who is sick,  I don't think you have any problem you sound normal, so the problem must be with Manju, am I right?'

Yes, there you are.'

Tell me Manju , I do not know all of a sudden, I statred having head ache especially when I go out of the house' .

'How long do you have this problem?'

Sekhar intervenes and says, 'after the celebration, even I thought it could be due to the hustle- bustle of the function and after effects, its past fifteen days and still she complains. There is no chance of eye sight because last month only we checked her vision with Dr Shetty and it's perfectly alright. '

'OK, before I diagnose anything let's wait and watch, first avoid going out in the sun, second  if at all you want to go prefer before 12 noon and after 5 , third drink enough water or juice so that you do not dehydrate,when you feel you are going to have the headache, take rest in a quiet atmosphere. No medicines come after a week for further investigation.'

They both leave after informal bye message.

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 The very same day Ragav came  home early and since it's unexpected there was no one in the house, so just switched on the TV and there was this ' Culture channel ' showing some ancient temples and its importance etc. When he was about to change the Channel the narrator was highlighting about the Kanyakumari temple and how it was originally a Light house for sailors of those days. There was no wall surrounding the deity Devi Kanyakumari , and the sparkle from her nose ring used to shine to such a distance at night that sailors would follow to reach the shore.
 This was enough for him to say 'BINGO', he immediately called shekar from his mobile . 'Ragav here, Arre, Sekhar, I know the reason for Manju's headache, first ask her to  wear an ordinary one instead of the diamond one!'

But how can that be the reason for her headache Ragav, I can't understand?
 
'Just do as I say, and see the result for yourself !'

'OK done, let me try, By the way, how come you suddenly came out with this?'

'Nothing, thanks to Kanyakumari.'

What Kanyakumari? From where to where?

How can I explain, I just switched on  TV, on the Culture channel they were showing about the Kanyakumari temple and how her nose ring guided sailors who came by ship to the shore at night. So, I just calculated  2 +2 = 4 .
 He further added, '' This is quite  possible that due to the reflection of the nose ring,she ended up with head ache. So try, trial costs nothing. Let's see, Good night!''

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Within three days, there was improvement in Manju and both thanked Ragav for helping her out with the headache.Manju decided to wear the diamond nose ring only for occasions.