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Saturday, December 8, 2012

Women Power?

A Country where  Women Goddesses are worshiped , it's a shame to see the pathetic condition of how the women are treated at home and at work place .
If only  all women put together, can totally take on the men: but it's not so.  Unless and until someone  reveals their hidden power , they can't do anything on their own! Nothing can come out of it.

The previous generation that's the early 19th century, women were considered as slaves and they remained just the doormats at their houses, I won't even call as homes-' homes where people live where the heart is. 'Almost all men treated their ladies esp. their spouses as  a relief for their  mere lust and they had no identities, rather deprived them of their identities lest their talents should come out.
Have not you heard of your parents saying how their parents lived specifically the ladies of the houses.

 When it came to education, the girls were stopped with the mere third form i.e class viii, and men folk a SSLC, later a graduation.
The society had the fear that if women were given the chance to gain worldly knowledge, they would out wit men.With no qualification and employment , they totally depened on their spouses and in-laws. Wives had to ask for money, take permission to visit their parents, relatives and even to use the money and later account for it. The husbands also gave their salary to their parents.Fearing divorce the wives kept quiet and the in -laws had the last laugh by domesticating their daughter-in-laws. Why ,I have heard my own generation menfolk strictly telling their wives- ladies not to read the newspaper, because they felt it's safe if their spouses remained ignorant so that they can shine in the society and can be scottfree by taking advantage of the ladies' ignorance.

When it came to marriage, the girls were never consulted and it was invariably, a decision taken in unison by the elders of both sides. 
The mere fact that the girls would also have feelings, emotions etc are put behind the burner.I have heard of relationships out of wedlock and running a parallel family and sidelining the legitimate spouse etc were taken with a pinch of salt and was considered as a status symbol. 
When it  comes to deciding on the children, women folk have  no say and they keep on giving birth or go for abortion, they do not even have a say in this egoistic male dominated society.
How many women could pursue their hobbies after marriage? You can count on fingers!
 Many designers, artists, artistes, writers,  playwrights ,dancers, photographers, scientists, event managers,  musicians, directors, lawyers,teachers,chefs,lyricists, poetess' dreams were buried in the sand of matrimony. Given a chance  one can bring them to limelight just with a pat on the back, but who will pat and bring out their hidden talents?

Women -do they have power? The power to take important decision on their own? Power to purchase major household items?
Power to express her views related to their own kids' education, career? Power to join the family discussions?

How many husbands consult their spouses with regard to matters of finance, house management? How many have the access to money in normal and emergency cases? How many can be proud of saying that they operate  a joint  savings bank account?

How many share their saving schemes, planning , purchases etc and make the respective wife equally take responsibilities?
How many notify the changes they have made in regard to appointing nominees, drafting a will etc? 

There are a number of cases where the husband preceded the wife and the wife is kept at dark when it came to his savings, PF, Pension and insurance matters? The whole world won't fall if he has kept his wife well informed as no one can give guarantee for LIFE unless and until it is maintained in a FILE? Life is so unpredictable .

The recent study has come with a surprising fact that more girls run out of home fearing cruelty by husbands, relatives, not ready to marry in relations and high expectations from parents to excel in studies. 
As soon as a girl grows up she is seen as a ' wify material'.

Let's take the case of divorces- die worse !A  woman bears the brunt of the society and in-laws whereas the husband is let free as if everything is wrong  only with the womenfolk.  Women do not go for divorce as there is no alternative for them outside marriage unless  she has a job, her parents and siblings' support, with or without encumbrance.  At times parents force her to stay with the devilish husband fearing the stigma attached to divorcee and she becomes the unwanted and unwelcome member in her own family! She takes it as her destiny as parents fail to bail her out of this artificial wedlock. 
She dreads to think of the process of rebuilding her nest in case of the husband refusing to give her the maintenance. Even the break not the same for men and women .
Those days  the jewels were  given as an asset and an investment for her emergency years. 
Now a days, every  qualified and educated lady explores the  window of opportunity  available at her doorstep. She can no longer be taken for granted. She becomes the captain of the ship. She knows the turmoils and tribulations of her ship and can  overcome the rough weather and if necessity comes would not think twice to throw the trouble shooter out of the ship at the deep sea.! 

Marriage is no longer a divine bondage with strings attached, she knows both to make the string stronger as well snap it at the right times.  For her marriage is  a road with equal responsibility and both need to go together to keep the cart moving. 

Before entering into the married life her ideas are clear and she goes with full open, clear mind after weighing the pros and cons of marriage, living together, and of course the break-up. She is game for all and her clear cut vision, straight thinking, her financial independence and freedom which she gained on her own  stays as a strong back up to take the bull by its horns. She knows she has to decide between the devil and the deep sea. The people around her also are aware of her status and try to act smart but in the long run she only gains.

Though a survey says divorces are more, one cannot totally blame the woman for it. Her financial independence, her aptitude, her efficiency and her status at work place might play a pivotal role in her  break up as men cannot stand their wives doing  well and superseding them in the professional life .Nor can they digest the fact that the  fat pay packet their spouses  bring home  playing  a major role in running the house and the status in the society.
 'Life has no fury than the woman scorned'.

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