I understand between the hater and the hated, it is always the hater who gets hurt more.
Every negative emotion secretes acid in your body, and acid destroys the vessel, which contains it. Negative emotions like anger, frustration and disappointment are visiting emotions. The consolation being, they rise in you when an event happens and then they die down once you are distracted into the other events. Hatred is a progressive negative emotion. It gains depth with the passage of time. The more you process your hurt the more you deepen your hatred, and as a result more acid is released in your system. It remains a lingering background.
In fact, the hurt you suffered from the event is insignificant compared to how much you keep intensifying the hurt by repeatedly reprocessing what had happened or what was done to you. Hatred takes you away from your real you. You cease to feel, think and act as you. The 'hated' now becomes the hero of your mind and heart, literally remote controlling how you feel, think and act.
The irony is that the 'hated’ is oblivious to all this. Forgiveness is not liberating the other from you, but liberating yourself from the other. Nothing and nobody deserves a disturbing presence within you. Let go of the disturbance and let in peace.
When Peter went up to Jesus Christ and said, "Lord, how often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?" Jesus answered, " Not seven, I tell you, but seventy times seven."
Men are susceptible to mistakes. The inadequacies of man are part of the design. That is how it is meant to be. Wrong being a matter of self-realization, and not all men are evolved enough to be objective in judging themselves, 'wrong' will emanate out of men.
Have not you noticed it on the road, the other driver always thinks only you were wrong, and gives you a stare? No human being is perfect.
Man can at best strive towards perfection, but can never be or become flawless. People do what they do because at that point of time it seems to them that it is right.
Wrong' is seldom intentional. It is often out of ignorance. They do not know that they do not know. And, you can never make sense to a man against his Will. Whatever you may say, he will still have the last 'say' justifying his actions. That is why, more than the one who committed the wrong, the one who pointed at the wrong will always be mistaken.
When that wrong committed by the other affects you, you get hurt. Your non-acceptance of the person and the situation that is affecting you turns hurt into hatred. If you intensify your hatred and decide on an eye-for-an-eye reaction, then it becomes revenge.
One negative emotion cascades into yet another negative emotion. Progressively you will press your self-destructive button. Save yourself from yourself, much more than having to save yourself from others.
Let nothing that happens outside of you cause a blemish inside of you.
Buddha prophesied, " Hatred is never ended by hatred, but by love. "
People need your love much more when they are wrong than when they are right. Think only good even to those who have not been good to you. Live your character, no matter, what happens.
Every man will face the consequences of his own doing. You do not make yourself wrong to prove that the other is wrong.Give up your need to prove that the other is wrong.
It changes nothing about your life.Give up your need to prove that you have been victimized.It still changes nothing about your life.You have nothing to prove.Something happened to teach you something.Learn the lessons and just move on.......
Let HIM take over the game from here.