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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Institution of Marriage.. children- when and how?


We read and hear about the failure of the institution of marriage.  It's true that the institution of marriage is on the rocks and mainly due to the attitude of the couple. 

First and foremost is to settle in  one's life, is there any limit for the 'needs and wants'? 

Second ,late marriage, and late thinking about whether to go for a child or not. 

 By the time they decide the biological clock has already rung the alarm alarmingly!After all these, if at all they decide their past 'free life' makes them think whether the arrival of child would curtail their freedom, and come in their independent way!

 Next who would sacrifice the promotion ,off site work, late night parties weekend trips, etc.etc....,?,In the end it's their aged parents who bear the burden. Recently a gentleman in his early seventies , with his  wife had to attend to their d-i-l 's first delivery. 

They came all the way from Madras to this city, and could not move around freely had to depend on the son for shuttling between the nursing home and home. He was telling me " madam , you are so lucky, you became a grandmother at a young age ( 57) whereas look at me , I neither have the stamina to take care of my son's house nor my  grandchild, in neither way I am useful.When I told  my son to get married at a young age, he was postponing and  got married late , late child has only put us under pressure, what can we do?They do not understand and we are not able to cope with them.

 "What could I say, I just endorsed his views and smiled my way out.We have seen children expect their parents to take care of their kids  irrespective of a joint family or not. If living separately, either the kids come home or these people go and fetch them from school , 'caretakers in the absence of parents'.

 But if one gets married at a right age the grand parents do not feel the task of managing their grand kids, rather they welcome whole heartedly with warm  hands. Their life revolves around them and without the grand kids they feel their life empty. I am one of the kind, my life revolves around my grand daughters. I sometimes feel bored if she goes out and if she is awake it's my time with her. Actually I have become her play toy, we play, dance, jump, read books say stories, go out for a walk etc...  Her energy  level goes up on seeing me and it's the same with me.  

All parents of those who keep delaying their kids deprive their parents of the nice  opportunity , the innocent faces and their talk cheers up the life in growing old age.There is no tiresome in one's life. The grand parents also become a small child by involving themselves. I only hope that the 'y' gen understands it.

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