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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The adopted child's mind

Recent headline stating that two ladies went for adoption and one succeeded fufilling the criteia and the other one was  depressed.Orphanages receive newborns as they are abandoned or given by the biological mother .Here itself the attachment is detached.
Nowadays, the financial stability, age factor, time factor parenthood, etc are all taken into consideration while children are given for adoption. 

Some parents who adopt atleast look for some similar factors and some do not but this overlooking by the adopted parents have led the society to make remarks related to the colour, the physical attributes however they may try  to hide from the kids. Some are bold enough to admit and go ahead irrespective what the society says. 


All do not have the same approach towards the adopted kids,especially if they already have their own biological kids. 


The mother becomes the target for every wrong action of the child. The child  feeling the absence of the real mother might blame the adopted mother for petty things. 


How much ever this mother may try to bring forth certain good manners or trying to teach the expected behavior in the child, a part which him/ her is in his her  genes would come out glaringly and it's quite natural. 


I know at least 4 people who have adopted babies in their toddler stage and have brought up and bringing up well. Hope the society is not cruel towards the adopted parents. 

Some due to the marital status have to adopt the divorcee's widow's kids , here the parents mental state is one of agony which puts them in an awkward situation not able to take sides  to do justice. A girl of the first biological father felt the sibling rivalry more with her step sister. Reasons,  she never had a chance to be with her father, even in pictures of her early stages, the complexion gave  her a complex, and the age difference made her to behave like a grown up child , the attention the second child ogt made her neglected and she knew that her mother was going to marry someone . Here in this case the girl in question moved with her future step father well till he got married,.After marriage the scenario shifted from a visitor to a regular person at home. The girl feels even now neglected. Whose mistake?


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