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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Humour in a Nutshell

An army major called his wife to tell her that he would be late home because dirty magazines had been found in the barracks, and the soldiers responsible were facing serious disciplinary action.
"No, honey,," he explained patiently. "Dirty magazines means the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned properly!"

Ever wondered how a lawyer could write a love letter to his girlfriend?


Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms ......,

1. That I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 7th of August (Wednesday).

2. That with reference to the meeting held between us on the 11th of
Aug. at 15:00hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

3. That our love affair would be on probation for a period of three
months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

4. That needless to say and of course, upon completion of probation, I
propose that there will be a continuous 'on the job training' and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to

5. That I propose that the expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us

6. That I further propose that later, based on our mutual performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

7. That however I am broad-minded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

8. That I humbly request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled
without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation.

Please reply if you desire so...

Yours sincerely,

Mr. ...

Adv for y
Digvijay (MP) politician was seated next to a little girl on an airplane, so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk ... Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What do you want to talk about?"...

"Oh, I don't know," said the politician. "How about global warming, fast broadband, or the refugee situation?" he said, smiling smugly.

"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics, but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass..... Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps. ..... Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thought about it and said, with a typical politician's wisdom, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss refugees, computers, or climate change, when you don't know shit?"
She went back to reading her book.

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