HUMOR IN UNIFORM!

[Names are with held in some places , and this is only to recollect the lighter side to the teaching profession I was in.]

Surprises are always in store in any profession. It was fun in some of the classes. To keep in short I am narrating a few incidents that happened in my classes.

When I took the writing task of advertisements for a news paper, a part of the syllabus, my first batch of class xii, all I did was to discuss the special features in an advt; and started taking rounds to see how they write.

While clarifying a student’s doubt, as a matter of fact, I casually said ‘if it is a four wheeler, you have to mention whether it’s a left hand drive or right hand’. Immediately a student without even lifting the head said, ‘I can drive with any hand why should I mention that!’ Bus, that’s all, the whole class went into a peal of laughter! It took some time to explain to the student that it is needed in case of jeeps and some cars and vans. This was a noisy and naughty class in spite of the total number of combined sections was only 20 students.

Teaching was great fun with Arjun [my son] in the same class, for any unit in ‘writing skill’, the students would pick up names – [means it should be Arjun], and they had fun while drafting wedding invitations. They had their own classmates for grooms, as bride from their srs and jrs! 

Once after a combined presentation of a Paper in the International Seminar at Hyderabad ,When I came back to take the class Akhilesh said, ‘mam’, Arjun missed his mother a lot, he has become thin , today we are going to his house in the evening , his mother has invited for idly, vada ,sambhar, do you know?’ I said, ‘if it is so ok, but I do not know anything about it’. I know they just enjoyed my absence, even though I had given a lot of writing task for the proxy classes. They would sit at one go and complete them. 

One student took the help of MBD English guide for writing the answers for the paragraph answers. 

I missed teaching poetry, for there was no poetry in their syllabus. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………..

Next was with another batch of students, same way writing advt for ‘To let’ column. A student had mentioned ‘A 2 BHK with attached bathroom four sides open’; when I read out the answers, the entire class burst into laughter and started saying that they would never choose this flat, open to sky bath, open to nature, open ground toilet etc……

.

This student never accompanied the class for any class picnic- a unique gesture! Reason GOK.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

This one is really a thought provoking one, who knows the mother had sensed it a way long back even when her child was in class ix. Once in a parent teacher meeting, this mother pulls her chair close to me, sitting opposite to me whispers huskily,’

‘Madam, you are mixing girls with boys when you make the seating arrangements, and don’t you think that they will touch each other’?

‘But this is the policy of the school, we would like to mix them so that they develop a friendship and since they are in co-ed, it is better if they know each other’.

‘Can you make out if they behave strangely’?

Yes, of course, nothing will go wrong, don’t worry, we will take care’.

‘My child says, many of his classmates do not like this seating arrangements’.

It’s not a question of like or dislike, they have to sit. It so happens that some of them get their partners of their like, sometimes boys end up sitting with boys and girls with girls.

‘My worry is they are too young, they should not end up falling for each other at this age.’

Those things happen only in movies when a boy touches a girl, sitar’ bajthaa hai’ idar tho aisa nahi hotha hai’.

Half convinced, she left the room, and I could sense her worry and disappointment. Perhaps the child would have mentioned casually or she had overheard. She was the ‘hep’ mother those times still the motherly instinct worked more. 

The irony is that, the child married one of the classmates!!!!! Is this called ‘motherly instinct?’

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

While teaching class three in early nineties, I insisted the students wash their face, comb their hair neatly and come neatly dressed. I told them even in the after noons after lunch, they should wash their face banana comb their hair and enter the class so that they do not feel sleepy and remain fresh. Lunch was served in school. 

I carried a small bottle of oil and comb with me for them, incase they don’t come properly. Some times it looks they have come out of bed directly to school by wearing the uniforms! I always used to joke, ‘we should keep him/ her near the window -birds will lay their eggs thinking that the head is their nests’!

After some time one fine day when I was entering the main premises, one parent mentioned. ‘M……., you have increased my monthly budget’ :I was confused and I could not get it, so I asked how could it be possible, for that the parent replied that since I have asked the students to oil their hair , the parent has to purchase oil as they do not use any hair oil. It’s only Brylcream they use! 

This made me laugh, at least the students listened to it and they were practicing it. .

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

A student by mistake took his exam papers home and being the class teacher the mother rang up from home. [soon after sending the child back to school with the answer sheets]. It was Social Studies paper. The child left early after completing the exam and when she rang up the other students were still writing. The mother started talking about her background saying that she is also an ‘Iyer,’ it is only that her husband belongs to the other state! May be she was trying to convince me and I do not end up taking any harsh step regarding her son. 

Nothing can move this Mathangi praise will not sing poetry nor criticism, I know where to draw the line and how true a person is! Nothing can shake me; I know to switch the channels, my home atmosphere or school atmosphere will never have its impact on me anywhere when I start from teacher to home maker. Or vice versa.