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Saturday, November 28, 2009

Donning many Hats

A woman has to take alot of roles in her life in this world, first as a daughter, then a sister, a wife , mother, mother-in-law and finally a grand mother..

Each role is different with a definite set of rules whereas for a boy who turns into a son, brother, husband, father, father-in-law and finally a grand father.

The girl entering as a daughter starts listening to the dos and donts from the age of three. it also begins when the parents up the choice of toys to picking up the groom for her later. Her likes and dislikes never matters to them.

From the very beginning she is made conscious of 'you are a girl' and there is no freedom given to her from food items to spending her free time the way she likes. She has to help her mother in the house hold, apart from her studies, to fulfil her dream of doing well in studies, she has to balance between studies and chores.

Where as the boy remains a boy and gets water and food served and hardly he helps in running errands.

Girl cannot move freely inside as well outside the house with in the time limit set and needs to inform her whereabouts.
All said and done when it comes to picking her life partner, it is the parents wish and fancies. She is the last person consulted.

Given a choice and chance definitely the parents would have selected their partners in those days if only there was an option. How many parents of those days ,where their parents have made the match making , are happier and living a contented life. I am sure they would have gone for separation. Since no other way was there and the family honour ,the birth of children, financial independence, parents support , most of all the fear of the ''social stigma'' prevented them from going for this.

But when it comes to their daughters and sons it is vice versa.

Once she is married she takes up the role of adjusting not only to the new place, environment, totally new people , new way of living and a new man in her life. She is supposed to get along well with all and earn a good name. Even before she comes to term with the man in her life , she is declared the 'mother- to- be' . Again sticking to the rules, the customs which become her ''கஷ்டம்'' , has to bring the new life into the world.

While taking the role of a mother , she has to inculcate all the good things in the child orelse face the wrath of others blaming her for the wrong upbringing. The society easily blames the mother for all the wrong doings and the father never hesitates to claim for the good deeds.

Why is it so for these many years? Why can't we change?

A woman can concentrate on many things at a time but a man cannot do so, for him one at atime only. Think of a working woman who has to take care of the household work children, guests over and above her demanding job. There is no doubt she also equally contributes financially to the family like her husband- it may not be a great sum as spouse's- but is in't it the responsibility of the husband also to share the chores equally? How many do so willingly, understandably or voluntarily? For how long?

More than the husband it is the wife who takes the burden of her house and she undergoes a tremendous pressure in this regard.House keeping is not an easy joke, it is a full fledged job.

I am reminded of a story which came in mail.

The husband sees for most part of the time his wife relaxing and feels she doesnot have much to do sitting at home and envies her. He asks God to change him so that his takes the role as husband and he happily agrees to take the role of his wife.

Then comes the tasks, he finds them endless and he has to get up early prepare breakfast, ready the kids to school, ready the husband, once they leave clean up the mess, washing clothes, and the house keeping work consumes much of his time and he does not get time to eat. Even before he could breathe, the kids are back home, attending to them, their homework, and night dinner, keeping everything ready for the next day and finally do the duty of the wife in the bed!

Exhausted he asks God to get him back the role of the husband but God says to him,

Sorry, you have become PREGNANT and even if you want you can't , you have to complete the full term!

1 comment:

  1. If GOD would have given the quality of giving birth to MEN, by this time, the world would have seen very less babies. Porumaiye illaadha oru jhenmam thaan aambala ... i have no vekkam in saying this, naanum porumasaali kedayaadhu.