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Thursday, October 29, 2009


I strongly believe in friendship and I value it more. I accept my friends for what they are and everyone has good as well bad qualities. I TRUST my friends. Friendship is more important than friends, I value friendship more.

School days friend was Zandra Bentic, college days I had Shyamala, Sivi, Shantha, Saraswathi and Mythili. It is shame on me that I do not know anything about 3 of them, the reason being I went to Raipur. In those days it was neither phone nor internet and all we had was the letters. One cannot expect every one to write as it is time consuming.

Mythili passed away in late seventies and I had called on her mother to condole at Dhandapani Street. She was a heart patient.

Sivi, I knew had been to gulf and she has 2 sons. Others –Shyamala a malayalee owned a hotel near Nungambakkam Railway station. Shantha married from the Jimmy building owners. Nothing about Saraswathi who lived with her sister and grandparents.

If given a chance I would like to renew this friendship.

Later after I moved to Anand, I was introduced to Shrimathi who has a son and a daughter. After she left Anand, no news about her and her family.

I am proud to continue my friendship with Mani mozhi since 1984. I know her as we had common friend from whom we improved tailoring, and we were exchanging ‘Mangayar Malar’ magazine.

The same Mani became my close friend and even now we maintain friendship. Our family knows each other well, and being in the same institution helped us bond well; children also enjoyed each other’s company. I had blindly left them under her care and went to Chennai on inevitable situations.

We never weighed our friendship with money or gift; it was always a mutual understanding and a lot of give and take.

Though many times my colleagues have wondered about our friendship as one could hardly find many similarities except that we speak Tamil and belong to T.N. I am a teacher of English, Brahmin and a vegetarian, strict in ‘pooja paat’, I do not wear plain sarees, always seen with a chain and simple earrings, do not give importance to matching ornaments etc.

She is fair, and likes to dress up matchingly and sports two chains and a pair of anklets. And she is a maths teacher, short tempered [not at present- age has toned her] shows her feelings on her face, blunt and a terror for the students mainly because of the maths –a fearsome subject. She likes to eat rice, has very cold drinks; I ‘no’ to any cold items prefer roti over rice.

Even both the men are good friends they gel well. Even now when I visit I call on her at Anand and keep communicating. We discuss many things and we confide and we both know that it will remain with us for ever. Many times I had been put under difficult situations and had embarrassing moments but those did not come in our way of friendship. Because we know what is our worth and we did not allow anyone to break it. Whatever were the difference of opinion in the profession we always found a way to sort them out calmly and we respect each ones’ views.

She was a regular visitor to watch movies in the club theatre where as I hardly went. For me the long three hours plus the preparation was a waste of time and I do not have the patience to watch a movie, I prefer watching in TV.

We never spoke ill of others, we had a lot to discuss like politics, cinema, entertainment, TV shows, serials and issues related to students, life etc.

She attended my daughter’s wedding in Bangalore with her husband coming from Chennai, elder daughter from Hyderabad. My daughter and her daughters are very good friends. We both attended her daughter’s wedding in Cannanore, Kerala. First she was a’ mami’ to my kids [she had artificial hair attached to her original plait], later ‘aunty’ and finally ‘madam’.

After coming to Bangalore, I was selective of my friends and all I could get was ‘mamis’, non working ladies and I selected very few of them due to various reasons.

I would prefer non gossip, simple and straight forward people to be my friends. A few I found had a stint in north like MP, Delhi and Gujarat. All of them are worth the friendship, we gel well. Unfortunately I found out in the past 6 years that one by one they are moving out of my vicinity. I am scared of maintaining friendship. So far 5 of them have left this place though some are in the same Bangalore distance and lack of direct bus has deprived me of reaching them.

We discuss general topics like our earlier times life, current scenario, the younger generation, the things which we read or heard or watched in TV etc.

Hardly one can find friends and I believe in not the quantity but in quality of friendship.

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