One night 'Amma' came to our home in her usual way. The (spiritual inquiries) started. She explained us about the Bhakti Yoga in Gita. She gave (commentary) on every . We were listening to her with (care). In the middle of her speech, Amma said:
"Srinivasa! Something strikes me. I think it would be right. Sri PeriyavAL thinks 'you must have a (tuft of hair)'. So if you go to him with a and do , he will immediately give you ."
I laughed humorously and said, "I don't think what you say would be right. In case he has such a (divine thought) he could have ordered me! Moreover, PeriyavAL gives in all places, to all classes, even to those without a ! Why should I alone be an exception?"
"He looks at you as a (special individual). He looks at you as a who is yearning to have . He considers that for the that has happened to you, a in the way (as decreed in the Shastras) is a necessity. It is his (reflection) that if you change to and in (exterior), the will automatically happen to you and bring (completeness)."
For that I replied:
"I am somewhat toiling with in my (interior). In this effort, I am being given and guided by Sri Avadhuta SwamigaL and Sri Swamy Sivananda Sarasvati. With full faith, I read about the and vedanta (subjects), do (yogic exercises), (meditation) and thus carry on with my. It doesn't occur to me that a is a necessity for these things. I preseve in (secrecy) the SishtAchAram (the anuSTAnam of our sacred predecessors), . No one should know about this connection between me and Bhagavan. I shall in any case attain (liberation) anyway. Sri PeriyavAL's such conditions would apply only to the days of old; they are unsuitable for these days."
Amma said with a cool confidence:
"All that you read and observe until now are of course good; there is no doubt about it. The time has come for that to shine. You have realized well that the (soul) is different and the (body) is different. Then why the (self-conceit) about the ? The talk about those who do not follow the Shastras is a different issue. I believe that since you remain faithful in the Satanata Dharma, it would be (best) for you to observe the s (rules of the scriptures), remain in and do and (daily observances). An abundance of (spiritual gains) is waiting for you. My (word) will not go untrue. Since PeriyavAL is giving a (direction) in my mind, I am telling you this." Amma thus finished her advice to me.
I realized that for such (good advice), PeriyavAL has given us Amma as our (spiritual connection) by his towards us. Immediately, pointing to my wife nearby, I said, "I don't know if she would like my changed exterior or not; I need to get her consent." And that was the wonder! As one who has moved with me this long, understanding my inner life, she said without any hesitation, "I give my full consent. What I see are only his s (spiritual traits). The changes that would happen to his exterior would not make me hate him." 'Amma' was just laughing, her toothless mouth wide open!
Looking at her Amma said, "You have passed! It is a matter of joy that you don't remain as a hurdle to his spiritual progress. Both of you together should lead the spiritual life. That is also MahA PeriyavAL's . (to me she said) You get into a on an auspicious day."
Next she said, "You two go to the Tirupathi hills. This is a good (indication). You have your in Tirumala itself, have Swami darshan and then go to KaLahasti. Sri PeriyavAL is staying there for his . Have dharshan of him. He will give you immediately. And he will be very happy."
We both went to Tirumala and stayed in the evening at Sri Parakala Matham. In the early morning the next day (4-7-1966) I changed my hairstyle into a .
We bathed in the (waters) of Swami PushkaraNi. Wearing and (the Vaishnavite religious symbol), I stood with my wife at the entrance of the Rajagopuram of the Tiruvenkatamudayan temple.
At that time, the (pontiff) of the Tirumalai EmperumAnAr Jiyar Matham, Periya Jiyar Swamy (Srimad Sadhu Ramanujachar Swamy) came to the temple with his honours, surrounded by his disciples. (this man, I) prostrated to Jiyar SwamigaL.
Jiyar Swamy gave me his (glance), called me near him and asked, "Swamy which Divya Desam?" I said, " from Vazhaippattu village near TiruvahIndraPuram." He said, "" (take him with us near the God) and took me with his (group) and let us stand near the KulasEkaran Padi of the (sanctum sanctorum) of Tiruvenkatamudayan. We did along with the of Jiyar Swamy, singing the s (hymns) of Tiruppavai.
In those days, Periya Jiyar Swamy would give his only to those SriVaishnavas who wore and (the mark of upgoing lines worn on the forehead by Vaishnavas), came to his MaTham and submitted (prostrated to the authority of the sceptre) to join his when he visits the temple for.
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KaLahasti is a Siva (place). The KaLahasteeswarar temple has been honoured by the Nayanmar hymns. The place is mentioned is the puranas. The temple is located at the foothills of the KaNNappar Malai. In the vicinity of the temple is the PasuMaTham. The SvarnaMukhi river runs in front of the temple. Sri MahA PeriyavAL was observing camping in the PasuMaTham.
We both reached PasuMaTham at eight hours in the morning. The (assistant) took us to where Pudu PeriyavAL was staying.
We prostrated to Pudu PeriyavAL.
"Nellikkuppam ! Very glad! Had darshan of PeriyavAL?"
"No. We are coming just now."
"Go quickly and have darshan of PeriyavAL."
We went inside the MaTham; at that precise moment the came to us quickly and said, "PeriyavAL's directive for you; he is there in that room." He took us to the room. We stood near the threshold. It was a small room, and seemed a bit dark; we looked keenly through the darkness. Sri MahA PeriyavAL was sitting inside on the floor. His white teeth glowed in the darkness. His eyes blossomed and emitted light. The coolness and (affection) of his look comforted and cooled our minds, and they melted. The Jagatguru's voice rang loudly like a bell.
"Both of you come inside! Looking this side, prostrate together," he spoke as he gestured with his hand. Keeping raisins, and in a cane plate upon a small wooden tripod before him and touching them with his fingers, he gave us his (glance) with a smile.
"Both of you together take the plate", he said.
"Only now you have become a SriVaishnavan!", he told me and was in (joy of full satisfaction).
"We came to Tirupathi, had of Venkatesvarar and then came to have darshan of PeriyavAL from there", I said.
"Amma told you? Amma is your (lifeline), right?" he said.
Since he had set the answer in his own question, we said "Yes."
"Amma would tell a lot about Bhagavat Gunam?"
"Since PeriyavA darshan in Villupuram, for the last three months, Amma comes to our home daily and talks about Bhagavat Gunam until late night", we said.
"Nataraja! Take these people to 'Swamimalai Amma' and ask her to attend to them", he said.
"How many days on leave?"
How to narrate Sri PeriyavAL's (compassion) and (affection)! For three months he observed silence only in the case of the two of us, he was strict in not giving us , and got his that he had made about me fulfilled, mentally acting through 'Amma', and the he had thereupon--what to say of it! For him, an Advaita Sanyaasi, what is there to be done by this man?