An old man, staying
in a small south Indian town came to visit his son in Bombay recently.
The son in his early
thirties is a successful businessman living with his wife and son.
The father, having
spent most of his life at his birthplace, hardly understands a
splatter of Hindi or
English, forget Marathi. But he doesn't care. 'I have come here to
spend a few days with
my son and his family. I don't have to go out
and socialize with
the city people,'he said.
But the son is very excited about his father's rare
visit to Bombay.
He wants to
make the best of it. He and his wife want to show him around the city.
And yes, the son
enjoys those evening hours too, when he and his father
go out and sit in a
good bar, sipping their favourite drink.
Last week he was in
a very good mood.
'Let's go to a five
star hotel's bar tonight,' he told his father.
It was a
beautiful evening. Talking about everything under the sun
they had a few
drinks. As usual they were offered some salad, peanuts,
wafers etc .as accompaniments
with their drinks. The old man being almost
toothless was
not much interested in eating. But that day when they got up
to leave, he simply
took a handful of chana (roasted grams) and stuffed it
in the fold of his
dhoti. He might have thought about munching
on them,
sitting in the car, or whatever.
Unfortunately while
walking in the lobby,
he missed a step and
stumbled.
Down he
went,scattering the chana on the plush carpet.
No problem .Now try
to visualize that scenario. Someone else in his
son's place would
have been mortified, embarrassed to death.
He might have cursed
not his father but his own self
for causing this
awkward situation.
'Never again will I
take my old man to such hotels',
he would have
vowed.
No sir, not this
son.
Gently, with a smile,
he helped his father get back on his feet.
Instead of
feeling irritated or angry, he was amused. He found the
whole incident very funny.
Laughing, they both went home and on the
way they decided to
return to the same place the followingSunday.
The old man liked the
place and liked the chana too.Few days back,
at a friend's
place they both described this event and made everybody laugh.
Weren't you
embarrassed? Somebody asked the son.
'Oh, come on
now' replied the son. 'He is my father. He talks in his native
language,
prefers to wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel,
takes chana from the
bar to eat later, does whatever he feels like....
So what?
Why should I feel
embarrassed with his nature and habits?
Nobody has a
right to stop him from doing whatever he feels
comfortable
with, as long as it is not harmful to others.'
The son doesn't care
what the staff in the hotel thought about that incident.
He says 'they
should be concerned only with their bills and tips.
I am concerned
about my father's happiness.'
The wife too totally
agrees with the husband on this issue.
She feels there are
enough other qualities in her
father- in- law to
feel proud of.
Accept them .The
above incident is not mentioned
just to show the love
and devotion of a son for his father.
More than love it is
a matter of understanding and a
healthy respect
for the other person's lifestyle.
A seventy plus old
man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now.
He likes the
way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is
nothing wrong
with the old ways of living. And the son says, ok, fine.
Every body has
a right to live as per his wish. Now at his age, why
should he be forced
to learn to eat with a fork and knife, if he doesn't want to?
I will feel bad
if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in
some harmful
activities. But otherwise it is fine. I am not going to try
to change him
at this stage.
He is my father. I
love him, respect him.
Hey folks, can you
think this way? So many times we see people
getting
embarrassed by the so called unsophisticated behaviour
of their family
members. They keep on apologizing about their lack of
class
and manners or about their drawbacks to outsiders. My wife can't
speak proper English;
she doesn't know what's happening in the world,
so I avoid
taking her out or introducing her to my friends and business associates...
My parents
can't eat with a spoon and fork, so I don't take them to restaurants
My husband is working
as an ordinary clerk, so I feel awkward when I
introduce him to my
rich friends. My brother is mentally challenged,
so I don't feel
like going out with him...
Are you plagued with
such thoughts or do you meet such people who think alike?
If you do,
please ask yourself. Why do others or I feel this way? Really what
is there to
feel ashamed of? Most of the people always have this fear
of other peoples'
opinions and comments. What would others say?
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