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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Funniest Matrimonial Adz

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!

I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

Business Man
Wife wanted for company.

I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point).

Car Dealer
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.

Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breeding.

I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

Required a girl - 5'8". She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.

Army Commando
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.

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