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Saturday, August 13, 2011

Adjustments and no Dominations.............

The recent trend in today's scenario is frequent divorces due to the ego and financial independence. The financial stability and out of the elders purview allows the gen next to decide easily their walking into the Aile and the same speed takes them out of it.But in the process they are missing so many things. Getting into a relationship is also like fast food and everything is fast for them.

Life and relationship is built upon mutual understanding with adjustment and there should be no room for domination. The reason for the failure of many relationships is because  of domination by one party and the total surrendering of the other.
Domination leads to  overpowering and the failure to meet too much demand wrecks the marriage.
 Love is blind and the marriage is an eye opener. All the misconceptions that was there at the time of courtship turns to fade off. People who fall in love think all is Pink picture. The reality of marriage unveils the pink picture to multi- colored one.
Love has never conquered all and the sooner one becomes aware of the reality, there is no disappointment and misunderstanding.

"It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing each one's attitude and actions will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.The better way is to come to one understanding  to run a smooth life, for that both the party has to come from their place to a middle path and find a way out.

Sometimes it happens that in order to make it work one gives off quickly and silently for the sake of happiness. I do not think that kind of happiness will stand long, whatever one gives off easily should come from within and never should it be forceful or out of " giving up", or expressing one's incapability!

You need two hands to clap and the both should work in tandem , so also if a marriage has to work on certain terms it should be from both the parties. Mutual acceptance, giving space to each other, trusting each other, consulting each other for a consensus to arrive at are as essential as sleeping and eating. It cannot be a casual attitude where, it's almost "you go your way, I go my way," then it's running parallel with no purpose.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..than blame each other or  find a scape goat to  throw the blame on.

Happy living is  adjusting happily within the limited environment!


  1. Very well reflects what goes in most families....How very true that one sided adjustments and compromises fail in the long run.

  2. hi

    my 2cents-

    Reasons for failure of marriages:
    1. Incompatibility
    2. Stress-read career related,interfering in-laws,unrealistic expectations, demands to start a family,demands to stick toa stereotype etc.
    3. Divorce is a not a taboo anymore-earlier,the social stigma attached to a divorcee is not there anymore-therefore, divorce is considered a solution to a failed relationship and not a cross that one has to bear.

    I don't believe marriages will work only if both hubby and wife decide to make it work-I have known marriages that have celebrated 60,70 years of togetherness with only either of the two going all the way by being completely spineless,docile, servile and bearing the cross...

  3. Attitude of adjustment is the only instrument
    to live a fruitful life.